Are These Outside Stressors Ruining Your Marriage?

biggest-causes-of-stress-relationshipSometimes problems in a marriage are caused not so much by two people in the marriage but by outside stresses.  Some things just seem to cause so much pressure and stress on two people that their relationship with each suffers.

These outside stressors might include:

  1. Prolonged unemployment
  2. Stresses on the job
  3. Financial problems
  4. Death in the family
  5. Caring for an elderly parent or other relative
  6. Having a sick or special needs child
  7. Physical injury or illness to one spouse
  8. Surviving a traumatic event, such as an accident or crime

Why do these particular problems cause so much stress in a marriage?  Usually it’s because one or both spouses are expecting the other one to handle things in a manner that’s different from how they are handling things, or they become so wrapped up in this stress that they neglect their relationship. 

It’s also true that sometimes one or both spouses will feel so stressed that they begin to take their frustrations and anger out on each other, and this of course wears away at the marriage bond.

Another common factor is that one spouse feels so depressed, guilty, or angry at the situation that he or she just cannot face the other spouse without feeling as if they have let him or her down.  This makes it difficult for there to be a positive bond in the marriage.

It’s important to be aware of how these stresses can affect your marriage and take steps to keep them from wearing away at your marriage bond.  Sometimes just understanding that you’re upset or angry over something outside the marriage can be enough to keep you from taking things out on your mate or from resenting him or her for situations outside their control.

Communication is also important.  Talk about your feelings openly and honestly, and allow your spouse to do the same.

Is Relationship Stress Robbing You Of Your Happiness?

Of all the different sources of pressure that affect women, relationship stress ranks high on the list. Why?

Because as women we long to love and to be loved. It’s one of the greatest joys we can experience in life, but unfortunately, it can also go very wrong.

When it goes wrong you could end up abused, neglected, betrayed, heartbroken and miserable – the victim of chronic relationship problems. Unresolved conflicts at work and at home can be a constant and debilitating source of unhappiness for you.

If you are harboring anger and resentment against a loved one, a family member, a friend or a co-worker, the resulting strain and tension may be doing you more harm than the initial conflict ever could.

Want to learn how to fix a relationship that has gone bad? The first step is learning to let go of the anger and resentment!

Relationship Stress on the Homefront

On the home front, you may be dealing with the controlling behavior of a domineering husband or partner, or you may struggling to improve the troubled relationships with your in-laws.

Frictions with your in-laws (and specifically with your mother in-law) could lead to mental and emotional stress as well as unresolved conflicts that last for years.

Financial problems can also cause relationship problems. Financial worries and fighting about money are frequently identified as a major reason for marital problems. As financial and other problems increase arguing couples may drift farther apart resulting in a possible total breakdown in the relationship.

Marital affairs and divorce could be the tragic consequences which bring on a whole new level of intensity to relationship woes.

Relationship Stress Caused By Divorce

Coping with divorce stress can be particularly debilitating. After spending years creating that happy family you dreamed about, having it all end in divorce is one of the most devastating occurrences you’ll experience in life.

The hurt and sense of betrayal is hard to put into words and your friends may not understand the pain you’re going through. With separation and divorce comes a feeling of grief, despair, fear about your future…and yes, a tremendous amount of stress.

Divorce and family breakdown are topping the relationship stress list of most women for yet another reason.

If you are a parent going through divorce, then you are under a tremendous amount of pressure. You may be feeling a lot of anger as a result of the divorce. But that’s not all. You may also be feeling a deep sense of rejection and low-self worth, which robs you of your ability to offer the emotional support your children urgently need to help them cope with the dramatic changes that result from the divorce.

Relationship Stress From Outside the Home

In addition to all the challenges on the home front, women experience a lot of pressure from non-romantic relationships as well.

Outside the home, you may be dealing with toxic relationships in the form of “so called friends”. Meaningful friendships can fill a void in your life by providing positive and up-building relationships rather than a lot of negativity.

Be on the lookout for troublesome traits in others (or in yourself) that are clear signs of a potentially bad relationship that will only bring more strain and tension in your life. Such signs include gossip, being fake around others, poking fun at personal issues.

Self Help Guides For Relationship Problems

There is no shortage of books about relationships and marriage.

The million dollar question is: do all these relationship improvement guides help women build more stable relationships and families? Not always.

For sure, some of the self-help books I have read contain really good advice. However, many self help guides also give advice that does more harm than good. So whose advice can you trust?

One self-help guide that has worked wonders for me is the bible.

Before you turn your nose up at the idea of consulting the bible as a self-help guide to reduce your relationship problems, consider this fact:

Many women today, from all walks of life, turn to the bible as the foremost guide when it comes to creating healthy relationships! Why?

  • Because it has stood the test of time while many secular self-help guides come and go;
  • Because it offers practical advice on many of the subjects the self-help guides deal with, and more;
  • it has helped millions of women to improve their relationships when they act on the counsel it provides.

One thing is for sure, women today are experiencing tremendous amounts of relationship problems and pressure from a variety of sources.