What To Do When Your Ex Finds A New Girlfriend

Read on to find out what to do when your ex finds a new girlfriend.

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One of the most difficult milestones in dealing with a past relationship is the day your ex finds a new girlfriend.  Do you remember what that day was like for you?  It may have been like that line in the Godfather III movie. Just when you think you’re over it, your emotions pull you back in and the emotional roller coaster starts all over again.

The anger, resentment, regret, hurt, feelings of despair….did I mention ANGER?  All these negative feelings may attack you at the same time when you find out that your ex is seeing someone else.

Here is the GOOD news!

You can turn things around by shaking free of the past and preparing yourself for new connections …whenever they may come.

Use these practical steps to avoid relationship stress and  help yourself and your children ( if any) adjust to the changes and new people that may come into your relationships after a break-up.

Steps You Need to Take for Yourself

  1. Come to terms with your feelings.  Don’t try to be perfect, and don’t ignore your true feelings. It’s natural to go through a stage of jealousy or bitterness. There is a huge difference between having those negative feelings and actually acting on them.  Make that distinction!  For now, just know that you are in control of your feelings and you can make your discomfort dissolve in time by training your mind to be peaceful.  
  2. Resist comparisons. Maybe the new girlfriend is prettier, smarter, richer, younger, or thinner than you. Maybe she won an Olympic gold medal in ice skating or she published a best seller. Don’t do that to yourself, resist comparing yourself with her. It’s much more productive to  focus on investing in your own self improvement and personal development and on becoming a more balanced, beautiful, happy, and stress-resilient person from the inside out! 
  3. Readjust your attention.  Don’t use technology and mutual friends to collect information about the new couple. That’s is an exercise in futility that will only leave you feeling more anger and hostility.  Those negative pursuits benefit no one.  Instead redirect your efforts to more constructive activities. 
  4. Get support. This is NOT the time to isolate yourself and throw a pity party.  Instead, surround yourself with family and friends who  will encourage you and support you through difficult times. If necessary talk with a counselor who specializes in relationships, invest in our 7 day diy program to help you cope with the stress, or secure the help of a stress management mentor. 
  5. Restore trust In Others. If you are like me, once trust has been broken in a relationship, it may be hard trust again. Your bad  experiences with your ex may have affected your ability to trust others. Don’t rush into any new romantic relationships just because your ex has a new girlfriend. Take baby steps to build up your comfort levels with trusting people again in general. Chat with a new neighbor. Invite a friend to attend the opera with you if you usually went with your ex. 
  6.  Go out on a date. It may take time to make a lasting connection, but there is no reason you cannot enjoy a pleasant evening out right now.  Just make sure your date knows there you are not looking for a lasting connection and there are no romantic strings attached.  Once that is clear, it may be fine to meet someone for coffee.  Start of with dates during the day (e.e. breakfast dates, lunch dates) and avoid going on dates at night, when the presumption of  romance may be more prevalent.
  7. Start a new project. Throw yourself into a new adventure. Sign up for scuba diving classes or plan a vacation to the Caribbean to have fun in the sun and get your groove back.  

Steps You Need to Take with Your Children

  1. Explain the situation.  Don’t create too much drama for your kids when your ex finds a new girlfriend.  Your ex may marry the first woman he meets or he may date around for years. Protect your children from the roller coaster ride of new girlfriends coming and going.  Wait until your ex announces his engagement to think about how his new girlfriend will adapt to being a new stepparent. 
  2. Be Clear On the boundaries. If communications with your ex and his new partner tend to backfire, restrict your interactions to essentials.  Communicate and coordinate with your ex on matters like child care and dental appointments, but keep your private life to yourself and stay out of his private life with his new partner as well. Your kids will be the biggest beneficiaries when you maintain a calm relationship with your ex for their sakes.
  3. Set Priorities issues. When relationships end there are a million changes to deal with, especially when kids are involved. You cannot do them all at once, so learn to concentrate on the major concerns.  Make sure that your children are physically and emotionally safe and observing basic etiquette.  
  4. Respect different household rules. You and your ex may have completely different rules when it comes to how you run your households. You may be stricter and more organized and his household may be a free for all. Instead of allowing this frustrate you or getting entangles in heated arguments with your ex, try providing as much consistency as possible at your household and be tolerant about personal preferences and differences, as long as those differences are not putting the wellbeing of your kids at risk.  
  5. Show compassion. Take into account that the three of you and your children are facing an unfamiliar situation. Respect each person’s opinions and empathize with their struggles.  Focus on the fact that you are doing this for your children.  Their happiness and wellbeing must be the top priority, and getting along with you ex and his new girlfriend will need to be at the top of your list.
  6. Spend one-on-one time. Your children may need extra love and attention when your ex brings a new partner into the home. Plan separate activities with each child so you have the opportunity to answer their questions and talk on a deeper level. Be positive and cheerful. Ask their teachers and other adults to inform you about any changes they notice.  
  7. Communicate directly. Talk to your ex and their new partner instead of relaying messages through your children. Protecting your kids is worth any inconvenience.

You can find peace and still extend your good wishes to your ex and their new partner. Be honest about your feelings and make smart choices that create greater love and fulfillment in your own life.

Please Share Your Thoughts 

In the comments below, share with us:

1. What have you done to cope with moving on after a breakup?
2. Which one of the points above will help you the most when your ex finds a new girlfriend?

 

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All content on this ​website was created and/or compiled by ​Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.

Caregiver Stress Tips For Those Sharing Caregiving for Your Aging Parents

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Caring for aging parents can be a stressful experience. Read on for tips to make it easier on everyone involved.

If you are currently caring for your aging parents, you can probably use all the help your siblings have to offer to minimize caregiver stress.  I know cause I am in the exact same situation. My four brothers and my sister provide a tremendous amount of support, but there may also be challenging family dynamics to manage.  In my case, we all live in the same area ( except one brother who lives in Europe with his family), but my sister was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, which means we have to jointly share in her caregiving as well.

Your brothers and sisters can also provide a huge amount of support, but there may be challenging issues in your case as well.  If so, keep reading to discover how to lighten your load and draw your family closer together by sharing caregiving responsibilities with your siblings. Try these strategies for working together as a team.

Get The Logistics Under Control

  1.  Coordinate and Communicate during family meetings.  You may not be as lucky as I am to have your siblings in close proximity.  But even if your family is spread out over long distances, try to gather in one place.  That is really easy to do with Skype, and conference calls.  Holding regular “virtual” family meetings to talk about how to care for your parents BEFORE an emergency arises, allows you to approach the subject with a clear head. 
  2. Assign roles & responsibilities.  If you are tempted to drift into old patterns, try to avoid doing that. The child who was labeled the responsible one growing up may automatically assume ( or be assigned) much of the decision making. Instead, each sibling should look at your current capabilities and contribute accordingly. In my case, one of my brothers is a doctor, so he is the “go to sibling” for all medical issues for our aging parents.  On the other hand, I am an alternative health enthusiast, and I balance his “medical solutions” with a healthy does of my own “alternative options” in order to get the best results for our parents.  My dad loves gardening and eating the fruits and veggies from his organic garden, so we would want him to be able to do that, in his own environment as long as possible.  I am a firm believer in gardening as inexpensive stress relief therapy, but also to get nutrition and exercise in your own backyard! 
  3. Consult with the experts & professionals.  If you do not have any sibling doctors, then you need to ask family physicians to help you find the resources you need. Pastors and social workers may be able to help too.  If a geriatric care manager is available in your area, you should engage him or her to coordinate the planning process for the caregiving of your aging parents.  A geriatric care manager could be instrumental if you and your siblings live far apart, or if you live far away from your parents.
  4. Keep the lines of communication open. Talk with your brothers and sisters often about what you learn as you research issues about aging and caregiving. Give each other updates after you call or visit your parents. make sure everyone is in the loop and updated on all matters at all times.  Email is an easy tool to keep everyone on the same page. 
  5. Maintain records. You may need to deal with some complicated medical, financial, and legal arrangements. Proper documentation can prevent misunderstandings and help you comply with applicable laws. Don’t disregard this area and end up in extensive and expensive battles with your siblings later.  Its not worth the hassle and would do your parents memory a grave injustice! 
  6. Encourage independence. It’s important to remember that your mother and father want to maintain their independence for as long as possible. Look for ways to assist them that support their dignity. Installing safety bars around the shower is one adjustment that helps them to care for themselves. 
  7. Solicit Each Other’s  help.  This is not the time to develop super-woman syndrome. Call on your siblings when you need a hand. Be tactful and specific. You can let your brothers and sisters know that you need them to cover part of a medical bill without trying to make anyone feel guilty.  I had to do something similar when we needed to share expenses for othe repairs on our parents home.  I got the total figure involved and divided it by 5 ( we excluded my brother in Europe because we knew he was not in a position to help).  That seems fair to everyone and we each contributed 20% of the total without any hassle.

Get The Emotions Under Control

  1. Come to terms with the reality of aging. Watching my parents grow older triggers uncomfortable thoughts about aging and death. It’s a subject that really difficult to discuss openly, because no one wants their parents to die.  Still, I discussed the subject with my mom, by speaking about my own mortality and how I would not want to be a burden to my parents or siblings if I died before them.  My mom and I then decided to get the death and burial insurance. If you have a tough time discussing or even thinking about aging and death, you should considers joining a support group or reading spiritual material that can help you to understand your feelings.
  2. Sort out rivalries. You may find yourself competing for your mother’s attention or reliving old memories about how your father took your brother camping without you. Decide to let go of past conflicts or talk them over with your siblings.  Settle any sibling rivalry issues and disputes with your siblings and give your parents that gift of seeing all of you united in caring for them as they age.
  3. Accept and Respect differences. Each member of the family may have different opinions about the situation and unique ways of contributing. Accept that your sister may be more willing to pay for a gardener than to come over on weekends to do the yard work herself. 
  4. Set realistic goals. It can be difficult to juggle caregiving on top of all your other responsibilities. One of my brothers is the manager of the utilities company.  Another brother is an high level public official and runs his own business.  SO yes, we are all living busy lives.  So its important to set realistic goals as to what we can comfortably, consistently, and realistically do. If you’re becoming overwhelmed with the responsibilities of caring for your aging parents, concentrate on the essentials. 
  5. Express compassion. This can be a challenging time for the whole family. Be gentle with yourself and your siblings as you take on new tasks. Let your parents know how grateful you are for the love and guidance they’ve provided. 
  6. Take a break. Taking time off will help you to sustain your strength. Ask your parents if they’d like to take senior aerobics classes at the local gym so you can spend Saturday morning with your kids.

As the average lifespan increases, you may be able to enjoy your parents’ company for many more years than you expected. Advance planning and skillful communications will help you and your siblings to collaborate on caregiving to make this stage in your family’s life more joyful and meaningful.

Please Share Your Thoughts 

In the comments below, share with us:

1. Share your experience of caring for an aged parent.
2. Do you have any tips of your own that have particularly helped you in the situation?

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All content on this website was created and/or compiled by Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.

Minimize Money Arguments In Marriage (and block the road to divorce court)

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Couples disagree about money more often than you may think.  It can happen in any marriage, but it’s bets to learn how to work together as a team and keep the money arguments to a minimum.

You may be surprised to know that constant fighting over regular money arguments in marriage is one of the primary causes of divorce nowadays.  And kids are not immune from the arguments, since they may often be at the center of the battle when it comes to clothes, video games, toys, or the latest digital gadgets. Preventing money arguments in marriage is one of the best ways to increase the level of harmony in the home.

And we have some tips  and advice to help you do just that.  If you’ve been feeling there’s nothing you can do to avoid money-related fights, then read on.  There are many things you can do to minimize the disagreements about money and keep the peace in your home.

Tips for handling money arguments at home:

  1.  Take a moment to figure our your attitudes regarding money.  If you and your spouse have a different attitude when it comes to money, then there is fertile ground for money battles.  Money problems are one of the main causes of stress for women. Perhaps you grew up in a wealthy home, and your spouse didn’t. Or like me, you might value saving over spending, while your spouse is the exact opposite.  Speaking from personal experience, I know that can be a nightmare.  
  • Think a bit about your husband’s background.  If his family never could afford cars unless they were 10 years or more, then that might explain why he is so places such high value on having a brand new .
  • Take a minute to understand and analyze your differing views.  That might help you find middle ground regarding finances. That new car might mean more to your spouse than you realize.
  1.  Make sure everyone gets involved in the budgeting process. No one likes to be told what to do, and if you make the budget by yourself and impose on your spouse and kids, there is bound to be a LOT of resentment ( and perhaps even rebellion) in your home.  So instead of creating, imposing, and enforcing a budget all on your own, make sure to include your spouse and kids in the money management process to minimize feelings of animosity.

Have a meeting with the entire family and go over the budget. Provide an opportunity for everyone to give their opinion and ask questions. Everyone will be more likely to stick to the budget if they’re involved in the process.

  1.  Talk about  major purchases with your spouse in advance. Coming home with a pair of $50 shoes is one thing. Towing an amazingly soothing massage chair home without a discussion is an entirely different situation, regardless of your good intentions to create that “relaxed feeling” at home for everyone. No one will enjoy it if it becomes the center of a major money battle.  It would much better to discuss it in advance with your spouse and agree in advance that it is something you both need and can use.  
  • Have an agreement that all major purchases will be discussed beforehand.

     

  • Once you learn to minimize “financial surprises” there will be a lot more peace and a lot less fighting about money.
  1. Make special arrangement for regular family budget meetings.  I know this sounds a bit too business-like, but running a home is no different from running a business.  Scheduling a 15-minute meeting once a week should be sufficient to keep everyone informed about the “financial health” of the home. Go over the spending for the week and compare it with your current budget plan. Make adjustments where necessary helping everyone to see the need for doing so.  During the “family money management meetings” you can also include discussions about any unbudgeted expenses that may be coming up.
  1. Grant every family member a weekly or monthly allowance, including yourself.  No one wants to feel like they have to ask permission for the smallest of purchases.  That’s a quick way to create resentment and many financial disagreements boil down to someone feeling a lack of freedom or too much control. Providing everyone in the household a few dollars to spend any way they desire can be helpful.

 

  1. Discuss and set common financial goals. Everyone in the house is likely to be more agreeable to a reduction in spending if it’s being done to reach a desirable goal, such as a vacation. Saving for a dream house, retirement, or college can put everyone on the same page. Set, pursue, and achieve goals together.
  2. Think before you speak. If your spouse has run up the credit card again, take some time to get your emotions under control. Share your displeasure with them, but leave your emotions out of it.

If you focus on the behavior rather than the person, you’re less likely to make someone defensive.

Fighting over money is a common occurrence and money problems has been identified as the number one cause of stress among women. With patience and understanding, most arguments over finances can become a thing of the past. Include the whole family in the budgeting process and review the family’s spending on a regular basis. Your family will thank you for it.

Please Share Your Thoughts 

In the comments below, share with us:

1. What strategies do you use to minimize arguments about money with your spouse?
2. Which tip mentioned in the post above can you use to prevent money battles in your home?

Relationship Problem Advice – 3 Easy Tips To Resolve Conflicts When They Arise

relationship-problem-advice2If you are looking for relationship problem advice, you are not alone.

One of biggest sources of stress for most women is the relationships they form with other human beings.

Relationship problem advice can be helpful to resolve problems with your spouse, your partner, with your girl friends, with your in-laws, or with your boss and colleagues.

Problems in relationships, especially in romantic relationships, can cause some of the most severe pain, heartache and distress for women.

Here is the good news.

You can have the relationship you want but it will take a lot of patience, a forgiving attitude, a strong commitment and honest communication. Strong communication skills are necessary in any relationship and it’s difficult to maintain that communication when you’re feeling angry, stressed and tense.

The best relationship problem advice I can give in this situation, is to make an extra effort to reach out to your partner. It will require humility and effort on your part, but it can make all the difference.

Relationship Problem Advice Tips That Work

Keep the following 3 tips in mind when problems arise in your relationship:

1. Address conflicts as soon as they arise.

stress-management-tips2This is MUCH easier said then done, but is makes a lot of sense when you think about it. The longer you brew and stew and boil inside over a particular problem, the worse it will become. Don’t allow problems to fester.

Boundaries in relationships and trust issues in relationships are two critical areas where conflicts need to get resolved quickly before they become major problems. Its good to wait until you are in a calmed state before discussing the problem, but don’t be tempted to wait too long for the “right time” or for a “more convenient time”. Many times, that time never comes.

Addressing and resolving conflicts and problems quickly is one of the best marriage builders couples can use to build a strong lasting marriage. Unresolved problems create resentment which is like a cancer. It can spread quickly and poison your relationship. If you are in a long distance marriage and you can’t discuss it face to face, arrange to talk it out on the phone.

2. Spend quality time together.

In our fast paced modern world, busy schedules may cause many a couple to see less and less of each other and spend less and less time together. This too can lead to relationship problems. Relationships are like plants they need nurturing I order to remain healthy and grow.

The best way to “nurture” your relationships is to spend quality time together. This is certainly true for couples looking for marital advice, but its also valid for keeping non-romantic friendships alive. The key is to make the time count when you are together by doing things that make you both happy.

3. Be Thoughtful And Caring.

Regular and consistent acts of thoughtfulness and genuine kindness can sometime be all the marital help you need. For instance, why not leave love notes for your partner? These notes don’t always have to be romantic or profound.

keeping-love-aliveMaybe you can just let your him know that you made a special dinner for him when he comes home. It doesn’t really matter what you say, only that you’re adding one more way of talking to your partner and expressing by action that you really care.

Being thoughtful is good relationship problem advice for non-romantic relationships too. If some tension has been created between you and a friend, you can leave a note apologizing and invite them over for a special evening of fun and laughter.

Acts of kindness have the magical effect of opening our hearts and melting away tension and resentment.

I once read that it takes two people to make a relationship work and only one person to destroy it. That is absolutely true.

Don’t be the one person who destroys your relationship. Use the relationship problem advice and tips above to help you build stronger, more loving and fulfilling relationships that bring joy and meaning to your life. 

Practical Guidelines To Have The Relationship You Want

stress-management-tips2You can have the relationship you want even if you are ready to throw in the towel and give up on your relationship.

Don’t give up just yet. It’s never too late to have a better marriage as long as you and your partner are willing to give it one more try.

 

 

Healthy Relationships Require Time, Patience & Effort

We live in a world of fast food, instant communications, five minute marriage ceremonies and quickie divorces. You can have the relationship you want, but it will take time, effort and patience to create it.

Think about it. Did the relationship problems you’re currently facing start yesterday? Probably not. More than likely, your marriage may have been on a downhill slide for months or perhaps even years.

Seeking help to have the relationship you want is only the first step in the right direction. Putting in the work to undo whatever harm may already have been done and achieve the results and the happiness you long for will take some time. But it is well worth the effort.

To expect to have the relationship you want instantly, is almost like praying to God for patience and then telling him you want it now. Ironic right?

If there was ever a time you needed to develop patience, that time would be now. So develop the patience needed to get your relationship back on track.

Most relationships experience trouble over a period of time– little arguments go unresolved, resentments start to set in, small things become big things and suddenly you realize your marriage is on the rocks, and that’s when you “wake up” and ask yourself: how did we get here?

Create The Relationship You Want By Improving Yourself

have-the-relationship-you-want4In order to have the relationship you want, you will have to create it yourself. That means you have to work at making your relationship the loving lasting union it was supposed to be. Many women make the mistake of trying to change their partner.That’s the first mistake.

Instead of putting your energy into changing him, it may be better to focus your energies on improving who you are.

Are you the kind of wife that is easy to love, honor and cherish? Are you supportive, encouraging, forgiving?

Is your home a welcoming, warm haven of rest that your partner can look forward to coming home to?

Do you put his happiness ahead of your own?

Your answers to those questions could reveal key areas you may need to work on in order to have the relationship you desire.

Become The Kind Of Woman You Were Meant To Be

Don’t underestimate the power of one! That one being YOU! You may be amazed at how small changes in your attitude can trigger BIG changes in your spouse.

You may be able to have the relationship you want by simply becoming the kind of woman you were born to be.

  • Confident, yet humble.
  • Self reliant yet interdependent.
  • Determined, yet yielding and submissive when necessary.
  • Outspoken, yet respectful and God fearing.
  • Ambitious, yet generous and kind.

Somehow as “liberated” women, we have taken the challenge of living and working in a male dominated world to an extreme degree. In the process, we have lost touch with our true female strengths that lie deep within.

have-the-reltionship-you-want2As women, we actually have the potential and the power to change the world, because behind every powerful man in the world stands a woman and the hands that rock the cradle can actually rule the world.

ll this without ever taking office or occupying positions of influence and power. Women have the power to change the world from the privacy of their homes.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that women should confine themselves to home life and domestic duties. Far from it. I am saying that as women we may have inadvertently become the victims of our own “liberation”.

You can have the relationship you want, by finding your way back to the female strengths that you have deep within.

How To Become A Truly Capable Woman

I remember when I read bible book of Proverbs Chapter 31 for the first time. I was floored by the profound truths and far-reaching power which that chapter revealed about the strengths of a capable woman. That’s when I realized that as a woman the power to change my life and my relationships for the better, really was in my hands.

You CAN have the relationship you want, but it will require following the timeless, godly wisdom found in the bible. It’s up to you to acquire that wisdom and it’s up to you to apply it!

Trust Issues In Relationships: Two Main Causes And The Cures

arguing-couplesTrust issues in relationships can cause many problems. A relationship has the best chance of withstanding the tests of time, if it is built on a solid foundation that consists of love, respect and trust.

However, the world we live in is characterized by a crisis in confidence and trust, and virtually everyone’s trust has been betrayed at one time or another, in one way or another.

Dishonest business men swindle clients out of billions of dollars, corrupt officials abuse the trust placed in them, and the list goes on. But what about trust issues in relationships?

This article will discuss two main reasons of trust issues in relationships, improper jealousy and infidelity.

Proper Jealousy versus Improper Jealousy

One of the main sources of trust issues in relationships is improper jealousy. Notice, I said improper jealousy, not jealousy. A certain amount of jealousy can be proper, natural and even healthy in relationships.

For instance, you may be jealous of the attention your husband shows to someone of the opposite sex. This jealousy may be proper and your husband should not be insensitive to your feelings about that.

On the other hand, your husband may become jealous because of the amount of time you spend caring for a needy relative. This too, could be proper form of jealousy that you can both discuss and work out by reassuring each other of your love and commitment to each other.

So what is improper jealousy and how does it relate to trust issues in relationships? It’s the kinds of jealousy that is wrongly motivated and completely misdirected. A person with improper jealousy suspects others without cause or resents the attention others receive feeling that she alone is entitled to it.

For instance, do you resent the attention your husband shows to his mother feeling that you alone deserve the full attention of your husband. Then that could be a form of improper jealousy.

Do you suspect your husband of secretly having an affair with someone of the opposite sex simply because she dresses better than you or may be slimmer than you? That could be an improper form of jealousy that is without cause, wrongly motivated, and misdirected. It is destructive and can lead to major trust issues in relationships. It can also rob you of sleep, trigger anguish in your marriage, and even lead to health problems.

Infidelity – A Severe Breach Of Confidence and Trust

trust-issues-in-relationships (1)Infidelity is a devastating breach of trust that instantly creates trust issues in relationships. It has the same shattering effect on a relationship as a hurricane does on a house.

If a house is wrecked in a hurricane, a builder must evaluate if it can be repaired before trying to rebuild it.

So before attempting to rebuild a relationship that has been shattered by infidelity, it’s wise to take your time and determine whether the intimacy and trust in the marriage can be restored.

Dealing with trusts issues in relationships that have been shattered by infidelity requires patience and the innocent mate should not be pressured to make a decision in one direction or the other.

Infidelity does not have to ruin a marriage, but if trust cannot be restored things may never be the same.

Rebuilding Trust In A Relationship

It’s not easy to deal with trust issues when your relationship has been damaged by infidelity To succeed in restoring trust the guilty partner must: 1) end the illicit affair, 2)accept responsibility for his wrongdoing, and 3) show that he is wholly committed to rebuilding the marriage.

If you have been the victim of infidelity, there is something YOU will have to do too! You will have to forgive! Can you bring yourself to forgive your partner?

It may take time for you to forgive your partner and not continue holding on to deep resentment. If you do so, you can both have a sound basis of hope for rebuilding your marriage and overcoming the trust issues in your relationship.

 How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the UnfaithfulCheck Price Healing Your Marriage When Trust is BrokenCheck Price When Life Hurts: Finding Hope and Healing from the Pain You CarryCheck Price

Is Relationship Stress Robbing You Of Your Happiness?

Of all the different sources of pressure that affect women, relationship stress ranks high on the list. Why?

Because as women we long to love and to be loved. It’s one of the greatest joys we can experience in life, but unfortunately, it can also go very wrong.

When it goes wrong you could end up abused, neglected, betrayed, heartbroken and miserable – the victim of chronic relationship problems. Unresolved conflicts at work and at home can be a constant and debilitating source of unhappiness for you.

If you are harboring anger and resentment against a loved one, a family member, a friend or a co-worker, the resulting strain and tension may be doing you more harm than the initial conflict ever could.

Want to learn how to fix a relationship that has gone bad? The first step is learning to let go of the anger and resentment!

Relationship Stress on the Homefront

On the home front, you may be dealing with the controlling behavior of a domineering husband or partner, or you may struggling to improve the troubled relationships with your in-laws.

Frictions with your in-laws (and specifically with your mother in-law) could lead to mental and emotional stress as well as unresolved conflicts that last for years.

Financial problems can also cause relationship problems. Financial worries and fighting about money are frequently identified as a major reason for marital problems. As financial and other problems increase arguing couples may drift farther apart resulting in a possible total breakdown in the relationship.

Marital affairs and divorce could be the tragic consequences which bring on a whole new level of intensity to relationship woes.

Relationship Stress Caused By Divorce

Coping with divorce stress can be particularly debilitating. After spending years creating that happy family you dreamed about, having it all end in divorce is one of the most devastating occurrences you’ll experience in life.

The hurt and sense of betrayal is hard to put into words and your friends may not understand the pain you’re going through. With separation and divorce comes a feeling of grief, despair, fear about your future…and yes, a tremendous amount of stress.

Divorce and family breakdown are topping the relationship stress list of most women for yet another reason.

If you are a parent going through divorce, then you are under a tremendous amount of pressure. You may be feeling a lot of anger as a result of the divorce. But that’s not all. You may also be feeling a deep sense of rejection and low-self worth, which robs you of your ability to offer the emotional support your children urgently need to help them cope with the dramatic changes that result from the divorce.

Relationship Stress From Outside the Home

In addition to all the challenges on the home front, women experience a lot of pressure from non-romantic relationships as well.

Outside the home, you may be dealing with toxic relationships in the form of “so called friends”. Meaningful friendships can fill a void in your life by providing positive and up-building relationships rather than a lot of negativity.

Be on the lookout for troublesome traits in others (or in yourself) that are clear signs of a potentially bad relationship that will only bring more strain and tension in your life. Such signs include gossip, being fake around others, poking fun at personal issues.

Self Help Guides For Relationship Problems

There is no shortage of books about relationships and marriage.

The million dollar question is: do all these relationship improvement guides help women build more stable relationships and families? Not always.

For sure, some of the self-help books I have read contain really good advice. However, many self help guides also give advice that does more harm than good. So whose advice can you trust?

One self-help guide that has worked wonders for me is the bible.

Before you turn your nose up at the idea of consulting the bible as a self-help guide to reduce your relationship problems, consider this fact:

Many women today, from all walks of life, turn to the bible as the foremost guide when it comes to creating healthy relationships! Why?

  • Because it has stood the test of time while many secular self-help guides come and go;
  • Because it offers practical advice on many of the subjects the self-help guides deal with, and more;
  • it has helped millions of women to improve their relationships when they act on the counsel it provides.

One thing is for sure, women today are experiencing tremendous amounts of relationship problems and pressure from a variety of sources.

 

 

Help For Arguing Couples: A 5 Step Plan That Works!

Arguing couples can actually grow closer together if they work together to remove any stumbling blocks that threaten their relationship. This post provides help for arguing couples who want to improve their relationship.

The better you get at resolving problems, the stronger your marriage will grow.

 

5 Practical Steps To Help Arguing Couples Resolve Problems

1. Change one bad habit at a time

Perhaps your partner ( or you) needs to be a bit more discipline when it comes to spending money. Financial problems is often the main source of contention for arguing couples. Get good money management advice that you can both benefit from and make an effort to gradually replace the bad habit with a good one.

This way, both of you will have a goal to strive for. Share these goals and work toward them together.

When you achieve a goal, no matter how small, reward yourself and reward each other.

2. Keep your voice calm

In the heat of the moment and with tempers flaring and emotions high, it may be tempting to scream and yell when arguing. Try really hard to resist that impulse. If you scream and yell in a loud voice, you will only provoke more anger and resentment from your partner.

Speak in a controlled calmer tone of voice and you may get much better results.

This may be one bad habit that you can try to change and replace with a good one. Arguing couples who learn to speak calming with each other even when they argue, have a much better chance of resolving the problem AND keeping the spark of love alive.

3. Leave the past in the past

If you are going to fight fairly, you cannot resort to name calling and bringing up skeletons from the past. When arguing couples start attacking each other instead of attacking the problem, the end result is often disaster.

In the heat of an argument it’s easy for cutting words to fly out of your mouth, but once they’re out there there’s no getting them back. The damage has been done, the emotional scar usually remains long after the argument has ended.

Sharp harsh words and accusations about what may have happened in the past do nothing to resolve the current problem and are often needlessly hurtful. Learn to leave the past in the past.

4. Be willing to forgive

Couples that have been married for many years know that the key to a lasting relationship is two people who are always willing to forgive each other.

If you are NOT a forgiver, the longevity of your relationship could be at risk. Holding on to grudges and constantly rehashing past hurts and disappointments makes it hard ( almost impossible ) to forgive.

So learn to talk out the problems in your relationship, and then LET GO and forgive!

If you continue to brood and even seek revenge here is what happens: the pain will linger, resentment will creep in, the arguments will continue and even escalate and the marriage may eventually end. Remember, neither one of you is perfect. You may beg for forgiveness yourself one day.

5. Appreciate The Good

Remember this, marriage is a union of two imperfect souls. So be realistic in your expectations, do not expect perfection from your spouse. You cannot give it.

See the good in your partner and work together to be better,both individually and as a couple.

Arguing couples are also faced with stressors from, outside forces that can lead to tensions in the relationship.

Job loss, stress at work, the challenges of parenting, the meddling in-laws. Rather then let these challenges lead to arguments that separate you, see them as opportunities to work together as a team to resolve whatever stumbling blocks might come your way.

No one said marriage would always be smooth sailing but if you use to the five tips above to fight fairly and to paddle together in the same direction even the rough waters can be fun.

Every couple has disagreements at some point. Unfortunately, when couples argue , the main goal is not to resolve the conflict at hand, but to win the fight.

Look at it this way. When you win an argument, your spouse becomes a loser. But when you resolve an argument, your spouse becomes your friend. 

 Everybody Wins: The Chapman Guide to Solving Conflicts without Arguing (Chapman Guides)Check Price His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof MarriageCheck Price How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About ItCheck Price

Easy Divorce Stress Tips For Smart Moms and Their Kids

There’s no doubt that divorce stress can take a toll on every member of the family. Even in cases when divorce seems to be the best solution, in reality there are NO winners.

Divorce leaves a trail of broken hearts, broken lives and broken promises behind. For many women, it can be a devastating and shattering life experience. But women are not the only victims of divorce stress.

If there are kids involved, it’s usually the kids that are hit the hardest by the divorce. And the younger the child is the more difficult it may be for her to grasp what is going on.

She loves mommy and daddy and cannot understand why they won’t live together anymore. Seeing your child suffer as a result of divorce only adds to your own emotional pain the break-up is causing.

3 Tips For Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce Stress

1. Talk about what is happening. The more you talk to your children about the divorce the better it will be for both of you.

Talking is a good form of therapy. Don’t keep your pain all bottled up inside. Open and honest conversation that is appropriate to the age of your child help her sort out her own worries about what will happen next. Kids often blame themselves when their parents get a divorce so talking with your children is important in helping them to see that the divorce has nothing to do with them.

Whatever you do, do NOT act like nothing is going on. Kids instinctively know when there is a problem. If you do not talk to them, they are more likely to blame themselves for everything. That would be the ultimate tragedy.

2. Avoid The Blame Game. When a relationship ends in divorce, its easy to point fingers at the “guilty” party.

As much as the “blame game” may make you feel better temporarily, it rarely eases the pain and chaos that comes with getting a divorce. Regardless of which adult is to blame for the divorce, make sure your children know that the divorce is not their fault. Since the kids seldom know the true cause of the divorce, they often blame themselves.

Some kids may even start to believe that there’s something they can do to patch up the relationship and stop the divorce altogether. While dealing with your own broken heart, make sure you help your kids come to terms with their own feelings and hurt about the divorce as well.

3. Secure A Stable Parenting Partnership. If children are involved, this is where divorce stress can present a real challenge for women.

Your marriage is ending, but the parenting partnership has to continue. Your kids STILL need their Mom and Dad. You need to reassure them that mom and dad both love them very much.

With all the changes your child will be confronted with as a result of the divorce, she needs to know that one thing – the most important thing of all – isn’t going to change. She needs to know that her mom and dad still love her and that BOTH will be there for her, no matter what!

Coping with divorce can be especially challenging for women since you have to deal with your own shattered dreams of the “happily ever after” you envisioned when you got married. But when there are children involved, the situation is compounded many times over.

Divorce Is An Evil Reality Of Modern-Day Living

Divorce is undoubtedly one of the most evil realities of modern day living. As the statistics continue to rise exponentially so do the numbers of women, men, and children suffering from divorce stress.

If divorce is a necessary evil that you are currently coping with, it does not have to destroy your health or affect how you raise your children. Use the three tips above to cope with the situation and if you have kids, remember their needs too!

If you do that, you’ll both survive what could very well be the biggest challenge and most painful period you will ever face as a family.

 

Divorce Stress Solutions That Work!

Are you looking for a way to cope with the mental, physical and emotional stress that comes with divorce?  Click here!

Make sure to get your hands on these 3 Effective Divorce Stress Relief Books that can help you and your kids get through this challenging period.

 Divorce Poison New and Updated Edition: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and BrainwashingCheck Price The Collaborative Way to Divorce: The Revolutionary Method That Results in Less Stress, LowerCosts, and Happier Kids–Without Going to CourtCheck Price Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends, 3rd Edition (Rebuilding Books; For Divorce and Beyond)Check Price

Divorce stress relief is just a click away. 

The Seven Biggest Causes Of Stress For Modern Day Women

As a woman you face daily pressures and challenges from a wide variety of sources. But the seven biggest causes of stress for women comes from certain specific areas that can easily be identified.

Knowing and identifying the main causes of stress that affect you as a woman is the most important step in successfully managing and reducing your tension.

The following are the seven biggest causes of stress for most women.

#1 Economic Recession

Unless you have been living on mars or under a rock for the last 3 years, you’ve probably felt the pinch of the economic recession. It’s a reality and the news seems to get worse every day.

Flip on the news or read a newspaper and you will hear about one more company that is declaring bankruptcy, downsizing or desperately seeking bailout funds from the government.

Since women tend to earn less than men, and perhaps worry more than men do, the economic collapse has probably left you feeling much pressure and anxiety.You worry about losing your job, losing your home, sending your kids to college, putting food on the table, among other things. Rightfully so, since we do need money to live!

Money woes is therefore one of the biggest causes of stress for women, and this problem has manifested as depression, fatigue, headaches, and even increased problems with cancer and heart disease.

#2 Unhealthy Relationships

Another one of the biggest causes of stress for most women is their relationships with others. Your family, friends, and co-workers can either be a positive source of refreshment or a debilitating source of strain and tension. Same goes for your spouse.  It’s a tragic reality that many women are coping the pain and despair of divorce.  If that is your situation, click here for divorce recovery support.

To make matters worse, you may be totally unaware of the fact that the toxic relationships in your life are actually one of the biggest causes of your stress

Be honest with yourself! Ask yourself :

How do I feel about my relationships right now?

Are you happy with the way your partner or husband treats you? Are you one of those couples who argue and fight about the same issues that never seem to get resolved?

Is there a specific person at work that you just can’t stand?

Are you harboring resentment and negative feelings about your parents, your siblings or some other family member?

If your answer is “yes” to any of those questions, then your relationships may be a source of tension for you.

#3 Job burnout

Many women who suffer extreme symptoms of strain and tension wind up that way because the overload of work at home and at the office is more than they can handle on a long term basis.

There is only 24 hours in a day and with increasing workloads at the office and increasing pressures at home, you simply may not be able to achieve all of your tasks. Despite the best time management skills, an ever expanding to-do list can be harrowing.

You may end up feeling completely exhausted, overwhelmed, and overworked, day after day.

#4 Women Health Problems

Stress and health problems form a destructive combination in a woman’s life.

Stress can lead to many health problems for women, such as infertility, headaches, endometriosis, heart disease, and others. But often times, specific women health problems also lead to debilitating degrees of strain and anxiety. Illnesses such as breast cancer, hormonal changes during menopause, complications during pregnancy, and the list goes on.

In addition to challenges caused by our own health problems, we often also have to cope with stress caused by the health problems of our loves ones.

Every mother knows the taxing demands of taking care of her child that is chronically ill. Every wife knows the pain of taking care of a husband who is terminally ill. Every woman who is also a daughter knows the pressure and weighty responsibility of caring for her aging or sick parent.

#5 Stages Of Grieving

Dealing with the death of a loved can trigger an inevitable flood of emotions for us as women. The death of your spouse, the death of your child, the death of your parent or of a close friend can strain your emotional, mental, and physical resources. It does not matter if the loss of your loved one was expected or sudden, it remains one of the biggest causes of stress for a woman and one of the most difficult challenges to overcome in life.

#6 Single Parent Families

Because of divorce, separation, or death of a spouse, more and more women are finding themselves in the challenging situation of being a single mother. More than 90 percent of single parent families in the United States are headed by mothers. A sobering statistic!

If you are a single mother, you may be coping with emotional stress, economic need and social disadvantages. Single motherhood may be one of the biggest causes of stress for you as a woman, since you may be struggling valiantly to pay the rent each month, to put food on the table and to make arrangement for childcare.

#7 Teenage Parenting

Raising kids in this technologically advanced 21st century is not for the weak at heart. Teenage parenting in particular can actually be one of the biggest causes of stress for women.

Modern society changes with lightening speed, some things for better and many things for the worse….much worse. Protecting your teenagers from the dangers of our modern world while at the same time giving them the space they need to grow into adulthood is a serious challenge for most women, so you are far from alone.

Here’s the good news!!

Raising teenagers is a challenge that can be won successfully. Teenagers are smart and if given the proper knowledge, they can make informed decisions just like any adult.

The trick to teenage parenting is to discern when your teenager is ready to learn certain lessons and to be able to communicate with your teenage child effectively!