Are These Outside Stressors Ruining Your Marriage?

biggest-causes-of-stress-relationshipSometimes problems in a marriage are caused not so much by two people in the marriage but by outside stresses.  Some things just seem to cause so much pressure and stress on two people that their relationship with each suffers.

These outside stressors might include:

  1. Prolonged unemployment
  2. Stresses on the job
  3. Financial problems
  4. Death in the family
  5. Caring for an elderly parent or other relative
  6. Having a sick or special needs child
  7. Physical injury or illness to one spouse
  8. Surviving a traumatic event, such as an accident or crime

Why do these particular problems cause so much stress in a marriage?  Usually it’s because one or both spouses are expecting the other one to handle things in a manner that’s different from how they are handling things, or they become so wrapped up in this stress that they neglect their relationship. 

It’s also true that sometimes one or both spouses will feel so stressed that they begin to take their frustrations and anger out on each other, and this of course wears away at the marriage bond.

Another common factor is that one spouse feels so depressed, guilty, or angry at the situation that he or she just cannot face the other spouse without feeling as if they have let him or her down.  This makes it difficult for there to be a positive bond in the marriage.

It’s important to be aware of how these stresses can affect your marriage and take steps to keep them from wearing away at your marriage bond.  Sometimes just understanding that you’re upset or angry over something outside the marriage can be enough to keep you from taking things out on your mate or from resenting him or her for situations outside their control.

Communication is also important.  Talk about your feelings openly and honestly, and allow your spouse to do the same.

How to Forgive, Release, And Be FREE!

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Forgiveness does not only benefit the person you’re forgiving. It can be very beneficial to you too. I’ve learned to forgive, release, and Be FREE!

Each day, I see the benefits of offering forgiveness to others. I see how it helps to put someone’s mind at ease. I know that granting my forgiveness to another helps them move on with a light heart and clear conscience.

I feel rewarded when I forgive someone for offending me. I am happy to have the opportunity to resume a positive relationship with them.

Sometimes it is challenging to overlook an offense. When I am hurt, I initially feel unwilling to give my trust back to someone. But I take the time to think it through.

I believe in my role as protector of good in the world. Even when I am mistreated, I put aside my pride. I know it takes two to resolve any conflict.

Forgiveness gives me a stronger sense of purpose.

I choose to be a bigger person who learns from negative experiences. I shun the chance to hold onto something that keeps my heart dark.

I am a good example for my loved ones because I practice forgiveness. I am proud to be a role model.

Today, I acknowledge that forgiveness builds me up. I strive to make amends. I am poised to be strong and positive because I choose to forgive others.

Now it’s YOUR turn.  Answer these self-reflection questions:

  1. In what ways can I forgive others without portraying myself as weak?
  2. What positive attributes do I develop as a result of forgiving others?
  3. When was a time I failed to intervene during a conflict when I possibly could have helped?

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All content on this ​website was created and/or compiled by ​Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.

3 Easy Divorce Stress Management Tips To Feel Calm & Confident

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Divorce stress can leave anyone feeling drained. Try these tips to get you through the rough times.

On the scale of most stressful life events, divorce is topped only by the death of a spouse. The third most stressful life event is actually marital separation—that really tells you how stressful it is to go through this kind of trauma. If you are going through a divorce and are feeling the weight of stress, anxiety, and frustration on your shoulders, it’s time to take a step back. Here are some divorce stress management tips that will actually work and will actually save your sanity.

  1. Reconnect with activities you love. Are there old hobbies or habits that you used to love to do, but have recently let fall by the wayside? Many women lose track of the things that they loved to do when they were single when they get married, sacrificing those habits or hobbies in favor of something else. During a divorce is the perfect time to pick up those activities again, especially if you find yourself a little listless. Did you used to love to read, but haven’t had time? Curl up with a book for an entire day. Did gardening soothe your soul? Get a couple of plants!
  1. Create a support network. The friends and family that you surround yourself can greatly influence your stress levels and how capable you are of dealing with whatever difficulties come your way. Right now is the perfect time to start creating and relying on that support network. Choose individuals that understand what you are going through and are genuinely concerned for you and your well-being. Cut yourself off from negative influences or those that encourage you to wallow in your stress and sadness. Instead, spend your time with those that lift you up and make you feel better.
  1. Make time for yourself. This is something that women are notoriously bad at doing but its one of the most important divorce stress management tips to implement. We are nurturers, we want to care for others, sometimes so strongly that we completely forget to care for ourselves. When you are in the middle of a divorce and the stress is piling on, you need to make time for yourself. Self-care during this time is extremely important. Take care of yourself: treat yourself to a dessert, take a long bath, spend the entire day watching your favorite television series; do something that is just for you.

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All content on this ​website was created and/or compiled by ​Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.

How To Reduce Stress During Divorce

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Divorce stress is one of the worst forms of stress a woman can experience, but there are ways to overcome it and persevere. 

Only the death of a spouse is more stressful than going through a divorce. That doesn’t mean that you should avoid getting a divorce if a divorce is the best solution for your relationship, it simply means that you need to learn how to reduce stress during divorce.  There is a very particular form of stress that divorce generates that can leave you feeling completely destroyed and devastated.

You know what it feels like: there are a million things to do and not nearly enough time to do them, paired with the knowledge that a relationship you have put a lot of time and energy into is coming to an end.  Add to that, the massive, heavy blanket of self-doubt, helplessness and the inability to think or see things straight.  I know.  I’ve been there.

If you are feeling the stress of a divorce, here are three practical ways to beat that stress:

  1. If you need to cry, cry. In today’s world, women are told that they shouldn’t cry, that they should be strong and “suck it up.” Crying relieves stress—it’s a very appropriate response to the stress of getting a divorce and is not something to be looked down upon. If you feel like you want to cry, go ahead and cry. You’ll feel better after the tears have been shed. Fighting back tears only piles more stress on top of your existing stress.
  1. Take up a new hobby you find rewarding.  Another tip I can share on the topic of how to reduce stress during divorce is to find a new activity that you really love to do and that satisfies you. This could be anything, from reading to gardening to exercising to writing. This should be something that makes you feel happy and content while you are doing it. It doesn’t have to show results or create anything that you can use in your life—it should just make you happy. Many married women find that they do very little for themselves. Now is the time to reclaim your life, and picking a new hobby is a great way to do that.
  1. Don’t skip meals. When you are stressed out, tired, and sad, you may forget to fulfill some of your most basic needs. Don’t skip meals. Your body will be hungry, even if you don’t actually feel hungry. Dealing with divorce and the stress it brings can sometimes suppress the appetite (that’s an evolutionary response), but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t nourish your body. Make sure that you eat at least three square meals a day. If you often forget to eat, or don’t have much of an appetite, try snacking on fruits during the day, grabbing some soup, or pick up a new juicing routine. You need good nutrition to beat divorce stress, so make healthy eating a priority.

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All content on this ​website was created and/or compiled by ​Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.

8 Signs to Quickly Spot & Understand Depression in Loved Ones

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Be on the lookout to spot and understand depression in loved ones with these 8 tips.

Depression isn’t always easy to spot in loved ones, and they may be hiding it on purpose. However, there are signs and tips to help you understand depression in loved ones and uncover their hidden depression.

Depression can be a devastating condition that affects them on multiple levels.

Use these strategies to help you discover if your loved one is suffering from depression:

  1. Why people hide their depression. It’s easier to hide the issues than to deal with them, so it’s common for this to occur.
  • People hide their depression because they’re scared and don’t want others to know what is happening to them. They also may be worried about losing their jobs or kids. Embarrassment is another reason for it to happen.
  • Depression still comes with a stigma, and they don’t want it attached to them.
  1. They may overcompensate. To hide their depression, they overcompensate by being more outgoing than usual.
  • Studies show that people trying to hide their depression can force themselves to be more outgoing and give fake smiles. They’re trying to keep their issues undercover, so they want others to think they’re fine.
  1. They have eating disorders. Issues with food are common among those with depression.
  • Changes in appetite are common. They may eat too much or too little. Their diets may be out of control as they try to hide their depression.
  • If you notice diet changes in your loved ones, then consider why they’re happening. Food can serve as an emotional trigger. They can use it to make themselves feel better or worse.
  1. They have angry outbursts. These outbursts can become more frequent as the depression gets worse.
  • An occasional angry outburst over a terrible situation is normal for everyone. However, if you notice frequent and strange angry outbursts, then your loved ones may be suffering from depression.
  1. Their sleep patterns change. Unhealthy sleep patterns are an issue for those with depression.
  • Sleep patterns that change for no reason may be a sign of a deeper issue. Your loved ones may sleep too much or too little. They may complain about not getting enough sleep, yet they refuse to go to bed.
  • It’s important to look deeper into sleep issues. Why are they having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? Or, why are they staying in bed for so long?
  • Insomnia is frequently linked to depression.
  1. They turn to addiction. Addiction and depression are often linked together.
  • Addiction can come in many forms and includes food, drugs, alcohol, or other items. It can also include gambling or other behaviors.
  • Risky behavior is an issue for people who suffer from depression. If you can spot these behaviors, then you can seek help and get them treatment. It’s important not to ignore their cry for help.
  1. They hide their feelings by keeping insanely busy schedules. Work, family, and volunteer activities can fill up the day and stop them from addressing their depression.
  • It’s common for those who are hiding their depression to fill up their day with a ton of activity. This keeps them busy and stops them from thinking. It also keeps others from questioning them.
  • A busy schedule prevents them from having to deal with their emotions, so they pile on the activities.
  1. They have trouble thinking clearly. People who suffer from depression can often make bad decisions or refuse to reach any decision and have trouble with their thoughts. They may also show difficulty in focusing on easy things.

Use these tips to help you spot hidden depression in your loved ones. You can help them feel better and get help.

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All content on this ​website was created and/or compiled by ​Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.

Learn To Trust Again To Experience A Meaningful Life

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Learning to trust again can be hard, but if you do, your life will be more joyful.

Our ability to be open and vulnerable is one of our greatest gifts. Being vulnerable often requires risk. However, building walls to protect ourselves removes much of the opportunity for a rich and fulfilling life.

A meaningful life requires letting go of the need to control everything. How can you do this? The key is to let go of the idea that you have something to lose.

What fears do you have that limit your willingness to connect?

  • Fear of abandonment?
  • Fear of failure?
  • Fear of rejection?
  • Fear of making the wrong choice?

Understanding your fears will help you to identify the source of your trust issues so you can work through them and move forward.

Using these strategies will help you learn to trust again:

  1. Realize that it’s not always about you. It’s natural to feel slighted and mistreated. You might even feel that you’ve failed in some way. Everyone has issues that negatively affect the way they interact with others. Perhaps the other person is struggling. Avoid overreacting and taking it personally.
  1. Start small. Take new relationships slowly and trust a little at a time. Give a little trust and then allow the other person to earn more trust over time. Take care of yourself, but be reasonable. Seek improvement rather than perfection.
  2. Learn to trust yourself. We’re often too quick to remember our mistakes and to forget the great decisions we’ve made in the past. Remember the numerous times you’ve trusted others and been right. Trust yourself to make good decisions.
  3. Be trustworthy. The least trusting people are often the least trustworthy. We expect others to behave in a similar fashion to ourselves. Be someone worthy of trust and you’ll find it easier to trust others. Be the type of partner, friend, coworker, or family member that you’d like to have in your life.
  4. Expect to have your trust violated. People are highly variable. Even a single person can exhibit a wide variety of moods and attitudes. Everyone close to you will hurt you at some point. To expect anything else would be naïve.
  • Remember the times that you’ve hurt others. Focus on the fact that you’re a good person and probably didn’t mean to cause any pain. The sources of your mistrust were probably of a similar nature. Be willing to forgive and expect forgiveness from others.
  1. Learn from the past. Was it possible to foresee or prevent any past transgressions against you? Did you trust too quickly? Did you ignore any obvious warning signs? Were you too impulsive? What can you learn and apply to the future?

     

  2. Learn to let go. If you focus on your fears and the negative parts of your past relationships, it will be extremely difficult to have healthy relationships in the future. The past is over. Learn from it and look forward. Avoid allowing regret to taint your present and future.
  3. Enhance your communication skills. Failed expectations lead to feelings of mistrust. Ensure that you’re communicating your needs and expectations clearly. It’s not fair to expect others to read your mind. Avoid making people guess about what’s important to you. Tell them!

All relationships have rough patches from time to time. Relationships with your romantic partner, friends, coworkers, and family members are all susceptible to feelings of mistrust. Many of your acquaintances may let you down. The ability to learn, move on, and trust again is invaluable. Be brave and move forward toward a brighter future.

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All content on this ​website was created and/or compiled by ​Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.

8 Remarkable Strategies To Never Have a Bad Day Again!

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 Do you want to know how to never have a bad day again?Read on to find out how!

All of us are faced with good days and bad days. Just imagine for a second what it would be like if you could eliminate most of the bad days from your life? Sounds impossible right?  I thought so too, until I realized that I DO have the ability to turn each bad day into a good one and make bad days a thing of the past.

What actually makes a good day may differ from person to person. For me a good day is waking up to enjoy the birds chirping or the flowers outside my window, working hard at something I enjoy during the day, and being able to connect in a meaningful way with close family and friends, and maybe even a stranger, before the end of the day.

What would make a “good day”for you? What has to happen for you to label a day as “good”?  Depending on your answer, you may be able to make each day you’re alive a good day. It’s up to you.

I uses these 8 strategies to eliminate bad days from my week and you can do the same too:

  1. I refuse to have a bad day. There is ample opportunity to have a bad day. You don’t have to work oat it, and you don’t have to look for it.  Isn’t it funny how it just seems to “find” you? You might be running late or your car decides to break down. Someone might speak unkindly to you or you spill mustard on your pants.  Things just seem to happen at the worse possible time, and completely ruins your day…IF you let it. So don’t let it! For me, having a bad day can be a lot like eating a piece of my mom’s delicious apple pie I know I should ignore. Just because it’s there doesn’t mean I have to bite. Avoid letting a few minor mishaps ruin your day.
  1. I choose to be happy, or at least content. In spite of whatever is going wrong, I choose to be happy. Sometime a bad day can get really ugly, so one those super bad days when I can’t find any happiness, I try my best to at least be content. Fact is, you can choose to have a good day or a bad day. The secret is to release your expectations and try to see what’s good in each situation.  As hard as it may seem at the time, there is always some good in each situation. 
  2. I spend time with loved ones. There are few activities that are as effective in bringing back perspective to reality than spending time with a loved one. The stress, worry, and anxiety just seems to melt away. And “loved ones” can include your four-legged family friends and family members as well ( read: pets)! 
     
  3. I always try to be on time. I don’t know about you, but running late and being late creates stress for me. For me, the stress begins once I realize that I’m going to be late and it continues throughout the day. It rarely ends until the day is over. If you’re late for one activity, you can be late for everything afterwards, too. Give yourself plenty of time to keep your schedule intact and you’ll avoid the stress of a bad day. Click here for a great resource if the lack of time makes you feel stressed.
     
  4. I have a morning routine. If your morning starts well, you’ll find the rest of your day goes well. A morning routine is an effective way to get the day off to a positive start.  My morning starts at 5:45  am each day and I go through the same ( or similar) routine every morning: a glass of water upon rising,  a 20 minute walk, 15 minutes bible reading, a bowl of oats with raisins for breakfast, a bowl of fruit ( or something else healthy) for a mid morning snack, and I am out the door by by 8 Am for work.  Important note: I usually prepare my work clothes the night before.  Consider using this fabulous tool if you are a busy woman who needs to save time and look great for work each day. And click here to learn how to get your day off to a good start in 20 minutes flat!
  • An effective routine can include what time you wake up, a review of your to-do list, wearing the clothes you laid out the night before, affirmations, exercise, and anything else you enjoy in the morning. Build your routine slowly and ensure it enhances your day.  Once your routine become a habit, you will be amazed at how it enhances you day.  I have an “end of day” routine as well…but I’ll share that in another blog post.  :-)
     
  1. I realize that LESS is MORE, so I try doing less. Having too much to do each day can be overwhelming.  Being overcommitted can easily create many challenges that get in the way of having a good day. Reduce your schedule to the most important 3-5 tasks. Stick to the important and urgent tasks. Reschedule the rest. Be balanced with the amount of tasks and responsibilities you take on each day to avoid burn-out and bad days.
     
  2. I have learned to complete my most important tasks FIRST. There are few things more frustrating than a stressful day that accomplishes little. Give yourself the gift of knowing that you completed at least one important task. That’s more than most can claim. Complete it as early in the day as possible and give yourself time to accomplish even more.
     
  3. I am grateful for the blessings of each day, no matter how small. When life is wearing you down, remember all the great things in your life. Give yourself a few minutes to list all the positive people and circumstances in your life. Are you healthy? Do you have friends and family? Your life is probably much better than you think!Start a gratitude journal and consider listing at least 3 things that fill you with gratitude as part of your morning routine. Your attitude will be primed to have a good day.

Having a good day is relative. The worst day for a middle-class American might be a great day for a child in a third-world country. Only you can assign a quality label to your day. Make the conscious decision to have a great day.

Now it’s Your Turn

Used the comment box below to share with us:

1. What 3 things are you most grateful for?

2. What 3 strategies above could you use to eliminate bad days from your life?

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All content on this ​website was created and/or compiled by ​Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.

How to Deal with Difficult People to Your Benefit

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Yes, you may have difficult people in your life, but you can learn something from them. Let me tell you how to deal with difficult people in your life to your benefit.

Unless you are a hermit who lives under a rock, you are bound to deal with at least a few people regularly.  You know…the colleague at work, the neighbor, or the sister-in-law who knows how to push your buttons. before your pressure starts to raise just thinking about them, here’s some good news: you can learn a lot from the difficult people in your life.

Challenging situations present opportunities for learning and growth. Rather than let the difficult people in your life frustrate or irritate you, have you ever considered using a strategy that would allow you to make optimal use of the difficult people in your life to YOUR benefit?

Just think about it for a minute. What if that colleague, neighbor, or sister-in-law  you enjoyed being around the least actually enhanced your life? How powerful would that be? There are ways to make the best of the situation.  Read on to discover how to deal with difficult people in your life to your benefit.  It’s easier than you think!

Here are 8 wonderful ways you benefit from dealing with the difficult people in your life each day:

  1. You learn patience. Whenever you’re stuck dealing with that colleague, neighbor, or sister-in law  you’d rather avoid, use the opportunity to practice being patient. It may be difficult at first, but it will get easier with time as you develop the wonderful quality of patience.
  2. You learn to manage your emotions. You may find that your mood and emotions take a turn for the worse when dealing with the difficult people in your life. Guess what? You can turn that around and use that as an opportunity to work on maintaining your composure in a stressful situation. Take advantage of your enemy’s presence and use it to fuel your skills. That’s the ultimate in self control, inner-strength and personal power.
     
  3. You learn about yourself. Take a moment to ask yourself: why does this particular person drive me crazy? In many cases, you’ll find that the people you dislike possess characteristics that you also have. Think about those whom you like the least and see if you can learn something about yourself.  In my case, there is one person that does not seem to like me very much, and the feeling is certainly mutual from my end.  I found out through a mutual friend that she is the only girl with 5 brothers and is accustomed of being the center of attention, and likes to be in control. Turns out that in my immediate family I am an important source of control and decision making ( second only to me Dad), so I am not about to let her impose her thoughts, opinions, decision’s on me.  Knowing why she gets under my skin, helps me understand both her and myself better, and helps me keep the peace.
  4. You gain an enhanced ability to focus. One effective way to be patient and manage your emotions is to focus on a resolution to the issue. If your thoughts stay centered on solving the challenge of the situation, your emotions can’t get the best of you.  So I try to focus on saying something positive or cordial, or overlooking or disregarding something unthoughtful that she may say, rather than fighting fire with fire.  I plan in advance to be calm and cordial when dealing with difficult people, come what may, so I go into the situation with that focus and objective in mind.  Often we need to push ourselves past our comfort zones to find the beauty that lies on the other side.
     
  5. You learn and practice relaxation techniques. There’s no better time to practice relaxation techniques than when you’re under the gun with someone. Bringing your stress down just a notch or two has many benefits. It’s good for your health and for the situation.  Rather than adding fuel to the fire, breath in slowly and then breathe out, count to ten ( or maybe to 20) and bring your stress and irritation down a notch.  
     
  6. You learn how to influence others. It’s not very challenging to influence your friends. However, can you influence an enemy? That’s the ultimate test of your people-skills. Try every tactic you know to bring the other person to your side. Sometimes something as simple as a smile can do the trick to breakdown barriers and open the way for a calm and cordial interaction with a difficult person. You’ll be amazed that with practice and patience, your abilities will quickly improve.  Even when you experience a setback in dealing with the difficult prople in youe life, remember that setbacks are an opportunity to grow.
  1. You learn how to let go. Do you allow a negative interaction to ruin your day or even your week? Suffering longer than necessary is just plain silly. Learn to how to let things go and enjoy the rest of your day. The interaction can only continue to haunt you if you allow it. Turn your attention back to the present.

     

  2. You learn to be compassionate and forgiving.  Unfortunately, unknown to you,  difficult people have painful reasons that explain their behavior. You just never know what is going on in someone’s life that triggers a negative behavior toward you ( and others).  They might be going through ( or has gone through)  a devastating divorce, a death in the family, physical and emotional abuse, or serious health or financial challenges. As difficult as it may sometimes be, you do need to avoid taking the words and behavior of others personally. Even the kindest of people have a bad day or even a bad decade. Learn to forgive others.

It took me years to come to this conclusion, but I have come to realize that the people that challenge our thoughts and emotions are a gift.  The million dollar question is: are you using the difficult people in your life to your benefit?  Are you allowing your interaction with them to open up new avenues and opportunities for your own personal growth.  Are you using every occasion you interact with them as a wonderful opportunity to enhance your own life?

If you’re not using these challenging people and situations to your benefit, you’re ignoring an excellent opportunity for personal growth. Use this empowering thought for the day and tell yourself that you are ready for whatever ( or whoever) you meet today. Learn from the difficult people in your life. The skills you develop will  enrich your life and make YOU a better person.

Please share your thoughts with us!  Use the comment box below:

1. Who is the #1 most difficult person you have to deal with regularly?

2. Which of the 8 strategies above can you use to deal with that difficult person to YOUR benefit?

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All content on this ​website was created and/or compiled by ​Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.

8 Financial Questions To Ask Before Marriage

Money problems is a leading cause of divorce. So before you say “I Do” examine these 8 financial questions to ask before marriage.

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Sending out invitation and registering for gifts at your favorite store is only one step of getting ready for marriage.

What about checking your financial compatibility?

I know that does not sound very romantic, but thinking about financial questions to ask before marriage and having discussions about finances are an essential part of preparing for life with your future husband.

Since financial problems in known to be a major cause of divorce, it crucial to talk about money early in the relationship to avoid future issues during married life. 

Kansas State University conducted a study, “Examining the Relationship Between Financial Issues and Divorce,”  that confirms the relationship between money challenges and divorce rates. The study found that couples who struggled with money in the beginning of their relationship were more likely to get divorced.

Don’t become part of the divorce statistics.   Here are 8 financial questions to ask your partner before you get married.

  1. How will finances be combined?  You need to know if your accounts with your future hubby will be combined or whether you will keep them separateDecide now as a couple how you will handle your finances after marriage.  Most couple decide to combine the accounts or preferably to open new joint ones as newly weds.
  1. Who will pay the bills each month?  This is another important decision that needs to be discussed before you say “I Do”. It’s usually best ( and easier)  to choose one person to handle bill payments in order to avoid confusion.  Deciding now who will handle bill payments each month also  clarifies the areas of responsibility in the relationship. In addition to handling monthly bill payments, the same person usually handles tax preparation as well.
  1. What is your debt? Questions about debt may be sensitive, but vitally important healthy financial relationship. Your future husband may have different kinds of debts from from student loans to credit cards. Understanding how much debt each person has before marriage will affect future decisions.  You may want to buy a house immediately after the wedding, only to find out that your new husbands debt bars you from getting a mortgage. What if you ant to upgrade your living room furniture?
  1. What are all of your income sources?  While both you and your future hubby may receive a regular paycheck from your job, that may only be party of the total income picture.  To be able to plan your future accurately, you will need to know all of the income sources. Is your future spouse receiving annuity payments? Does he get royalty checks from a novel he published ten years ago? These are the kinds of financial details your partner needs to share with you before you get married. Being open about your income as a couple builds trust in a relationship and there is no better foundation to build a lasting marriage on than love AND trust!
  1. Are you considering more education? For many people student loans are one of the biggest sources of debt. Obviously, this can have an impact if you or your partner is considering more education.  How will you pay for it? According to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, student loan debt has reached $1.2 trillion. That’s staggering. It’s estimated the average borrower has $26,000 in student loans. Before you pursue more education, you should consider the impact on your future marriage.
  1. What role do parents play in your finances? Are your parents helping to pay your bills? Or, have the wheels turned and you are now the one helping your parents financially? These are important questions that affect a couple’s financial plans and decisions. How would you feel if your future hubby’s parents helped during a difficult financial period? It’s important to discuss these kinds of questions and set boundaries and repayment terms in advance.
  1. How do you plan to save?  When it comes to questions about saving the main focus needs to be investments and retirement.  Do you or your future husband  contribute to a retirement plan at work? Do you or your future husband have other investments? How will combining finances affect your strategy moving forward?
  1. What are your financial dreams? It’s essential that you discuss your dreams and goals with your partner before you get married. If you want to retire before 50, he needs to know since that would effect the financial decisions you make now? If he plans on changing careers, you definitely need to know.

Every couple who openly and honestly discusses these 8 financial questions with each other before marriage are better prepared for their future as husband and wife.

Please Share Your Thoughts 

In the comments below, share with us:

1. Do you believe that financial discussions are crucial prior to marriage?
2. What financial question do you think would be the most important to ask of your future spouse?

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All content on this ​website was created and/or compiled by ​Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.

How to Push Yourself Beyond Your Limits

blog image - push past discomfort

Discomfort can be trying, but you can learn how to push yourself beyond your limits and make it work for you in a positive way.

I have learned that its crucial to push yourself beyond your comfort zone when life knocks you down.  I discovered how to make discomfort work to my advantage, even when faced with something as devastating as divorce. The first and most important step is to accept my situation, however distressing it might be.  When I accept the situation, I find the power to change it.

The truth is that true happiness depends more on your reaction to an event than on the event itself.  When I let  go of expectations and train myself to be resilient my anxiety levels drop drastically. I can then use my energy to focus on tackling the challenges with more confidence, courage and focus.

I try to stay focused on my purpose in life. For instance, when I remain focussed on why I want to complete a project, I can handle setbacks and obstacles better.

I trust in my strength. I know that I am capable of tolerating noisy neighbors or long lines at the bank. I create new strategies for coping with circumstances that may be beyond my control, rather than letting those circumstance control me.

I evaluate my self-talk. I distinguish between an inconvenience and a disaster.  There’s a huge difference, even though at times an inconvenience can seem like an insurmountable disaster.  During those tense and frustrating moments,  I encourage myself to stay calm, and use humor to dissolve tension. You can create a relaxation response during any stressful event.  Click here to learn how!

I have also learned to take baby steps that help me push myself beyond my limits. I identify the areas in my life where I tend to become irritated.  ( I was surprised to find that there are many).  Through gradual exposure I develop more effective responses. I may hang out in the break room for a few minutes each morning with a coworker I usually avoid until I discover how kind and interesting she really is. 

I think long term. Rather than dealing with stress by watching too much TV or eating half a cheesecake, I develop constructive outlets. Taking a walk or relaxing in a warm bath soothes me without any adverse consequences.

Today, I accept that inconvenience, challenges, setbacks, and delays are an inevitable part of life. I choose to remain peaceful and push myself beyond my limits to thrive and be happy…anyway.

Now its YOUR Turn. Share your answers to these self-reflection questions:

  1. How can you motivate yourself to push yourself beyond your limits and persevere through discomfort?
  2. How does discomfort contribute to your personal growth?
  3. What are 3 things you can do today to break out of your comfort zone?

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All content on this ​website was created and/or compiled by ​Natural Stress Relief Women. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (including text and images) without express and written permission from this ​site’s author/owner is strictly prohibited.